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Now and then they were honoured with a call from Lady Catherine, and nothing escaped her observation during these visits. She examined into their employments, looked at their work, and
advised them to do it differently; found fault with the arrangement of the furniture; or detected the housemaid in negligence; and if she accepted any refreshment, seemed to do it only for the sake of
finding out that Mrs. Collins s joints of meat were too large for her family.
Elizabeth soon perceived, that though this great lady was no longer engaged in the daily defense of her country, she was a most active magistrate in her own parish, the minutest concerns of
which were carried to her by Mr. Collins; and whenever any of the cottagers were disposed to be quarrelsome, discontented, or too poor, she sallied forth into the village to implore them to settle their
differences, or failing that, wielding her still-mighty blade to settle them herself.
The entertainment of dining at Rosings was repeated about twice a week; and, allowing for the loss of Sir William, and there being only one card-table in the evening, every such entertainment
was the counterpart of the first. On one such occasion, Elizabeth was solicited to spar with several of her ladyship s ninjas for the amusement of the party.
The demonstration took place in Lady Catherine s grand dojo, which she had paid to have carried from Kyoto, brick by brick, on the backs of peasants. The ninjas wore their traditional black
clothing, masks,
and Tabbi boots; Elizabeth wore her sparring gown, and her trusted Katana sword. As Lady Catherine rose to signal the beginning of the match, Elizabeth, in a show of defiance, blindfolded
herself.
My dear girl, said her ladyship, I suggest you take this contest seriously. My ninjas will show you no mercy.
Nor I they, your ladyship.
Ms. Bennet, I remind you that you lack proper instruction in the deadly arts.Your master was a Chinese monk-these ninjas hail from the finest dojos in Japan.
If my fighting is truly inferior, then your ladyship shall be spared the trouble of watching it for very long.
Elizabeth set her feet, and Lady Catherine, realising she would never convince such a stubborn, unusual girl, snapped her fingers. The first ninja drew his sword and let out a battle cry as he
charged directly at Elizabeth. When his blade was only inches from her throat, she moved from her opponent s path and dragged her Katana across his belly. The ninja dropped to the floor-his innards
spilling from the slit faster than he could stuff them back in. Elizabeth sheathed her sword, knelt behind him, and strangled him to death with his own large bowel.
Lady Catherine snapped her fingers a second time, and another ninja charged-this one unleashing throwing stars as he advanced. Elizabeth drew her Katana and shielded herself from the first
three flying weapons, then snatched the fourth out of the air and threw it back at its originator-striking him in the thigh. The ninja cried out and grabbed the wound with both hands, and Elizabeth
brought her blade down, taking off not only the hands, but the leg which they held firmly. The ninja fell to the floor and was promptly beheaded.
Though discontented with such a beginning, Lady Catherine held the greatest hopes for her third and final ninja, the deadliest of the three. But no sooner had she snapped her fingers, than
Elizabeth flung her Katana across the dojo,piercing the ninjas chest and pinning him against a wooden column. Elizabeth removed her blindfold and confronted her
opponent, who presently clutched the sword handle, gasping for breath. She delivered a vicious blow, penetrating his rib cage, and withdrew her hand-with the ninja s still-beating heart in it. As all
but Lady Catherine turned away in disgust, Elizabeth took a bite, letting the blood run down her chin and onto her sparring gown.
Curious, said Elizabeth, still chewing. I have tasted many a heart, but I dare say, I find the Japanese ones a bit tender.
Her ladyship left the dojo without giving compliment to Elizabeth s skills.
Their other engagements were few, as the style of living in the neighbourhood was beyond Mr. Collins s reach. This, however, was no evil to Elizabeth, and upon the whole she spent her time
comfortably enough; there were half-hours of pained, almost unintelligible conversation with Charlotte, and the weather was so fine for the time of year that she had often great enjoyment out of doors.
Her favourite walk was along the open grove which edged that side of the park, where there was a nice sheltered path, which no one seemed to value but herself, and where she felt beyond the reach
of Lady Catherine s curiosity.
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