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several road repairs that would mandate detours -- telling them I was a
county road super, of course -- which really screwed up local traffic for a
couple of days.
"The upshot is that the county got a lot of nasty calls and even more
bad media publicity, and the county commissioners agreed to investigate
these problems 'caused' by the road people. Naturally, in the midst of all this
I also brought up my beefs about their conduct, offering to testify at the
hearings. All abuses against my property quickly stopped. So I stopped my
counter-abuse program."
Check the "Joggers" section of this book to learn about the OSS tire
spikes of World War II infamy.
Homes
All sorts of things have homes -- snails, snakes, groundhogs, weasels,
Japanese beetles, even marks. One vengeful way of getting even with a
mark is to destroy the moat to the castle of his/her home. The idea is to hit
close to home, for both physical and the psychological destruction involved.
One example started at the apartment of Pat Konely. Because the
landlord refused to make needed roof repairs, several rainstorms flooded
Konely's apartment, damaging personal property. The landlord also refused
to pay damages, and Konely didn't have the money to fight the landlord's
attorney.
Pat Konely admits the response wasn't very funny, but it did put a
damper on the mark's day and his own home. It worked because the mark's
front door had one of those mail slots cut in it. Konely says that this stunt
works wonders when the mark is not aware of what's going on until the poor
drip really gets the message. Here's what Konely suggests. Hook a hose,
ideally the mark's, to the outdoor faucet. Unscrew the power nozzle so you
have the bare hose. Carry it to the mail slot and quietly fit the bare hose end
through the slot and into the house. Got the picture? Good. Konely says
you just turn on the faucet and hope the mark has slow reactions. Most
tricksters would agree that it's hardly sporting to do this when the mark is
away from home.
"That would be like shooting puppies in a barrel," Konely snorts. "At
least tip the barrel over and give them a running start, so to speak."
If your mark hates cats, be sure to place dead fish in obscure and
unpleasant places around his/her abode. Do this at night. If you want feline
audio accompaniment, tie a large dead fish from a tree limb or pole just out
of the reach of the neighborhood cats. The nearer to the mark's bedroom
window, the better.
The modern epoxy glues are a miracle to many and a menace to
others. The latter is exemplified by the exasperation of a person who's just
discovered that someone has squirted a load of strong glue into her/his door
lock. (Liquid solder works too.)
You know all those vents in the back and top of a television set? If
you ever pour a bunch of iron filings down in there, some interesting things
will happen to the mark's set the next time it is turned on.
How about some party humor? If your mark doesn't know you're
getting back at him yet, you might even find yourself a guest in the target
home. You could start off your festivities by quieting yourself away from
the crowd, locating the family freezer, and either turning the unit down
greatly, pulling the plug (unless it's equipped with a safety signal unit), or
switching it to defrost.
A trickster by the name of Micki related how she once came bearing
gifts for the mark's family freezer. She had matched the hostess's freezer
wrapping paper and style perfectly. Then, nestled among the nice beef
roasts, steaks, hamburgers, and chickens belonging to the mark, Micki added
her own packages of frozen roadkill -- dead cats, small dogs, groundhogs,
and crows.
Happy eating, all you mystery-meat fans.
While doing your tour of the targeted facilities don't forget to dump
some fiberglass or insulation dust into the mark's washing machine. It will
be picked up by the clothes, ideally undergarments. Within half an hour of
getting dressed, a person wearing clothing impregnated by the fiberglass or
insulation dust will wish he/she weren't. It creates terrible itching that takes
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