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But instead of accepting his Claddagh ring, she was
returning it to him, gently closing his fist around it. The
dream hadn t been painful rather, Holly had felt a sense
of relief so palpable she d assumed it had been real.
Awake now, Holly even glanced down at her hand, and, to
her slight surprise, saw that her ring was still in place,
winking up at her through the moonlight streaming in
through her windows. Her heart dropped in disappointment.
And that was when Holly knew what she had to do.
She swung her legs off the bed, trembling. Before she
actually did anything, she needed to find Alexa, to finally talk
things through.
But as Holly wandered through the silent, empty hallways,
she realized that Alexa was never one to hang around a
house on a warm Thursday night. Maybe she d even
rethought her Jonah decision and now the two of them were
hooking up at some private, celeb-only club. With a sigh,
Holly stepped into the kitchen, hoping to find some comfort
food, but then a splashing sound outside the window
startled her. At In-N-Out on Tuesday night, Jonah had told
Holly and Alexa that he d once caught determined
photographers pawing through his trash can for mail or
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other kinds of illuminating garbage. Fearful of crazy, stalker
paparazzi, Holly held her breath and peered out into the
darkness.
But there were no stalkers outside just Alexa. Holly saw her
friend sitting on the edge of the pool, her blonde hair
shining in the starlight as her feet kicked gently at the water.
She looked like a mermaid contemplating whether or not to
return home, and Holly smiled at the image. Without putting
on shoes, she slipped out of the house and crossed the
flagstone path to the quiet pool area. Alexa glanced up at
Holly, her big blue eyes twinkling, but neither girl said
anything. Holly sat beside her friend, also dangling her feet
in the cool, chlorinated water. She thought about all the
other times she and Alexa had sat side by side like this, not
speaking, but being there for each other nonetheless.
What were you doing all this time? Holly finally asked,
trailing a line through the blue water with her toe. She didn t
feel like bringing up Tyler just yet.
Thinking, Alexa replied, tilting her head to one side,
about our boy troubles. She paused. And that I should cut
my hair.
Are you serious? Holly demanded, forgetting Tyler for a
minute. Alexa was always unpredictable, but this news was
truly outrageous. Alexa s long, rippling, storybook hair had
always been her trademark;
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Holly hadn t known her friend otherwise. Boy-short, like
Margaux? Holly added apprehensively.
Alexa shook her head, smiling at Holly s expression of
shock. To my shoulders, I think. Alexa knew she would
miss her voluminous hair. It was her armor: She d relied
upon it to lure boys, make statements, and intimidate
people. But now the time felt ripe for chopping and styling,
for a look that was more grownup, more New York, more &
new. Maybe it was because she was still worried about her
incapacity to fall in love and felt that changing her look
might change her outlook. Maybe it was because Jonah
the source of her love angst had drooled over her long
blonde hair. She shrugged at Holly. I just feel like shifting
gears, Alexa explained.
Holly nodded, emotion rising in her again. Change can be
good, she agreed softly. Shifting gears. She thought about
how natural it now felt to drive in LA, how she d learned to
be confident steering her way across unfamiliar ground.
Holly took a deep breath of the salty-fresh air and looked up
at the glistening stars. I m happy here, she murmured, as
much to herself as to Alexa. It was the first time she d
articulated the thought out loud, and expressing it scared
her a little, made it real.
Alexa remembered something Holly had told her in the car:
When I called him from UCLA, I guess I
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sounded all giddy& . Alexa furrowed her brow, wondering if
she should speak what was suddenly on her mind. For
selfish reasons, she wanted to resist.
Hoi, didn t you & * Alexa began hesitantly. Didn t you get
into UCLA?
Holly met Alexa s gaze, the expression in her gray-green
eyes, understanding. I did, Holly replied. Then she
continued, her thoughts spilling out in a hurry now. I applied
on a whim because Kenya had recommended it, and
because of their great track program but I didn t ever plan
to go. It seemed so far away, so different. Holly looked
down at her ankles disappearing into the water, then gave
voice to the thought that had been lingering in her mind all
day. But being on the campus today felt so & right. Like &
like I should be going there in the fall. And not Rutgers. Her
cheeks flushed.
Yeah, Alexa said softly, kicking up another splash of
water. I kind of got that vibe from you before. She felt an
ache in her throat.
Whatever, Holly said, waving her hand through the air as if
to wipe the thought away. I can t believe we re even talking
about this! It s too late to do anything now, and it s not like
I d actually ever be able to withdraw from Rutgers and move
out here, right? Holly laughed, as if the idea were
outlandish, but Alexa saw that the expression in her eyes
was hopeful.
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It s not impossible, Alexa argued, still wrestling with
herself inside. It s only June school doesn t start until
September. And I bet your V.I.P. Assistant Principal mom
could totally pull some strings with the admissions office.
What am I saying? Alexa wondered. The last thing Alexa
wanted was for Holly her anchor, her rescuer, the one
person on the planet who understood her to move across
the country. At the same time, Alexa had witnessed the new
Holly blooming under the Malibu sun. It was as if all the
changes Holly had gone through in the past year
becoming more confident, more lighthearted, more daring
had finally taken full shape here. Alexa would never have
predicted it, but there it was, plain as day: Holly belonged in
LA.
This is where you should be, Alexa said firmly, looking at
Holly. I just feel it. Her heart broke as she said the words,
but Alexa couldn t not be honest with her oldest friend.
Holly swallowed, glancing down at her hands. Me, in LA?
She knew she d never buy into the whole shiny-cars-and-
fake-tans scene, but she d been amazed to discover that
there were people here like Kenya, like Belle who
managed to exude California cool while still remaining
down-to-earth. Here, Holly would have friends she could
count on to mock all the shallowness with her while enjoying
it at the same time.
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But she wouldn t have Alexa.
When Holly looked up again, she saw Alexa watching her
with a sad smile on her face; in the past, Holly had often
wondered if she and Alexa were close enough to peek into
each other s minds. You ll be fine without me, Alexa
whispered, tears welling in her eyes. Better. You ll be
saving boys from the ocean and going clubbing with Kenya
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